Putin vs. Obama, Who Ya Got?

Earlier this week Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump held a national security town hall and one of the biggest stories of the night was Donald Trump’s fawning praise of Russian leader Vladimir Putin.

ABC News – “[Putin] has very strong control over a country,” Trump said during the town hall, which was hosted by MSNBC and NBC on the decommissioned aircraft carrier Intrepid in New York City. “Now, it’s a very different system, and I don’t happen to like the system, but certainly in that system, he’s been a leader. Far more than our president has been a leader.”

Live look at Obama:

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While some libtards in the MSM were upset Trump favored a murderous despot over POTUS, the Charli Baltimore to his Ja Rule had his back once again.

Although to be honest he may have had some pretty selfish motives of his own:

Not all of the media piled on Trump for his comments, Hugh Hewitt, who looks like he used to teach Sunday School until parents got suspicious about all the overnight camping trips, also agreed with Trump on the strength of Putin’s leadership.

With the great thinkers of our time firmly divided on the question of who is a better leader, Obama vs. Putin, we’re here to break it down on the most important issues to see who is truly a stronger leader.

1)Raw Athleticism

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vs.

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Silky smooth handles vs. dekes for days. A little bit of a microaggression here that the black American guy likes bball and the white Russian dude plays hockey but we don’t cave to the PC police over here. Not exactly a great look for Obama with the brick, and even worse getting out-rebounded by that 8 year old kid. Bush probably didn’t have handles like Obama but he was a real first in, last out of the gym kinda guy who’s going to make the fundamentally sound play and crash the boards for that rebound. Putin on the other hand looks like a young Bobby Orr out there. The other teams defensemen obviously respect his speed so they’re keeping a safe distance to make sure he doesn’t blow by them.

EDGE: PUTIN

2)Body

Voters are on average, pretty fat, but are also self-loathing and don’t want to elect a fat guy President (see: Chris Christie’s primary performance). Making sure the President has a rocking bod is a key part of his leadership. GWB wasn’t out there clearing brush and hitting the trails for Laura, it was for you, the American public.

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Honestly, both don’t look half bad. There’s a reason America and Russia are the big swinging dicks on the international stage and its cause we only elect alpha male, high testosterone leaders (this sentence may be edited in November). We’ve got two hot beefcakes in the Red and White Houses, meanwhile poor as shit Uruguay has got this.

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Gross.

Putin and Obama are at pretty much a statistical dead heat here, but everyone knows a solid tan just makes you look thinner, healthier, everything, so…

EDGE: Obama

3)Signature Weapon

William Wallace had his sword,  George Washington had his musket, and FDR had his marginally functioning penis for penetrating deep into his cousin’s “territory”. Every major leader, especially in a time of war, needs to have his signature weapon. Obama is at war in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other remote corners of the world, while Putin is currently doing battle with ISIS and journalists not employed by RT.

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vs.

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Putin LOVES to poison people. Was probably the first class he took in KGB school and just couldn’t get enough. Very dramatic, lots of flair to it, makes for very impressive photo ops that are good to share with your enemy. If you’re a Russian journalist or political opponent one day you could be sipping a Moscow Mule and next thing you know you look like an anorexic Mr. Clean. Obama on the other hand is the ultimate technocrat so when he wants to kill people it’s kind of a no-brainer, flying fucking robots. Efficient, can reach anywhere on Earth, and if you call whoever you kill a “combatant” no one really questions who you’re shooting. While the poisoning is cool and very Bond villain-ish, flying killer robots are the wave of the future so…

EDGE: Obama

 

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