Hey Millennials! Your Protests are POINTLESS

Thousands of protesters, mainly members of the participation trophy generation known as millennials, have taken to the streets to “protest” the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States. What is unclear however, is what exactly these millennials are protesting and what they hope to accomplish. Perhaps if they studied a little American History instead of inter-sectional gender theory and the politics of HBO dramas, they would know that massive organized demonstrations are one of the least effective means of political action in the United States. Marching through Broadway in Manhattan or down a freeway in Los Angeles or across a bridge in Selma, Alabama is pointless and not going to accomplish anything.

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(A bunch of college students crying for a safe space, not going to accomplish anything)

These protesters are establishing a dangerous precedent for civic involvement in American politics that could be impossible to reverse if it is allowed to continue. Americans are supposed to vote on Election Day for the President every four years and THAT IS IT, maybe vote in an off cycle election if there is an opportunity to legalize gambling or replace a boring old dude as Governor with an Austrian action star. Furthermore, many of these protesters are white, upper middle class college students whose lives will mostly be unaffected by a Trump presidency with the exception of the photo of President Trump they will legally have to hang above their television. Maybe these students should grow up and get a job as a middle manager scheduling meetings and forwarding e-mails so they can contribute to the economy instead of senselessly protesting for other people’s rights. Oh you want to protest against Trump on behalf of Muslims? I guess you didn’t hear that’s he’s actually the one proposing to give them the opportunity to go to internship camps and learn new skills. Who’s the bigot now?

Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of these public protests is that they cause a massive inconvenience to people who don’t want to hear about politics and are now burdened with the massive inconvenience of having to get their Uber driver to figure out another route to get to Buffalo Wild Wings. They might not have jobs they need to get to, but these protester’s need to understand that shutting down lanes of traffic for your own selfish, vanity project is petulant, childish behavior and they need to GROW UP.

Protesting should be done in a way that it disturbs the fewest amount of people as possible and inspires the smallest amount of discourse or thought. If you want to hold a silent protest in your local library go ahead, but the second it starts inconveniencing Japanese tourists in Times Square there is a major problem. Maybe these liberal cry babies who don’t have a job of their own to go to can learn a lesson from the pro-Trump protest that has set the internet on fire.

In order to protest Starbucks, Trump supporters have been spreading the word to go to Starbucks and buy their products, and then when asked, give your name as Trump so that the confused barista can then accidentally write “Krump” on your cup. This type of protest gets their point across, doesn’t inconvenience anyone, and also spreads awareness for a very under-appreciated dance style. And if Starbucks doesn’t back down and admit that climate change is a Chinese myth, then Trump supporters will continue to buy more and more Starbucks drinks proudly under the Trump identity. While coddled liberals are out there demanding safe spaces, real Americans are taking to their local coffee franchises in a brave demonstration of solidarity with Trump that rivals King Christian X’s support of Danish Jews.

Here’s a suggestion for all the liberal protesters, why don’t you go and get a job for once? Crazy suggestion: instead of complaining about everything in our country why don’t you apply for a job in the White House and work to make things better? Instead of getting 15 an hour to protest from George Soros and taking hand outs from an out of touch billionaire, you can work alongside real civil rights leaders like Jeff Sessions in a Trump administration and work to get this country back on track. If working in a White House where you may have to be around firebrands like Steve Bannon who tell it like it is isn’t enough of a safe space for you, at least go get a job at Starbucks, which is experiencing record sales. If Ivanka Trump can handle running the Trump Foundation, plus her own successful business, plus working as a national security advisor, then entitled college students can handle getting up before noon and churning out a couple dozen venti lattes.

 

 

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